What am I to you?
by Aliuvial
Summary: "You're nothing but a tool for my use, my entertainment. I don't need you. I don't love you." Those words caused Niari's world to come crashing down around her.


**I do NOT own Bleach or its characters!**

**I do own the story line/plot!**

**This story is kind of violent at first! :3**

**I couldn't figure out who to pair with him. (;-;) **

**So this is a Aizen and Niari Fan Fiction just to let my mind wander a little and I had fun writing this. **

**I tried to write as the feelings came to me... I hope you at least slightly like it. XD **

**Niari's POV**

I was pushing him, with force. My hands are on his chest and I am repeatedly pushing him. Little do I know that the anger is coiling within him? Little do I know that he is losing control over his anger, about to snap, to burn, to hurt me? I suddenly stop; rest my hands on his chest, and lean forward to hide my face behind my hair. I don't see him frown before I lift up my head again. The tears are streaming down my face now as I tremble violently. They are silent until they hit the floor and shatter like glass. My eyes are foggy, and I am gripping his shirt in both hands.

"What am I to you, Aizen?" He has had years of practice on not showing his emotions so I can't tell what he's thinking. This makes me so angry that I let go of him before shoving him once more. His back hits the wall, his anger silently close to erupting.

"What am I to you?" My voice is soft and sharp like stepping on broken glass barefoot.

"You want to know? What are you to me Niari?" I lift my head a little shocked to find that he has a smirk on his face. My face shows that I am hurt and sad. He is acting as if anything doesn't mean anything to him at all…. He suddenly starts to laugh. I cringe at the sudden noise. Suddenly, he reaches out and grabs me by the shirt collar. He slams me against the wall. His right hand holds my collar while the left rests beside my head. He leans in close with a disgusted look on his face.

"You, my dear," his words bite like venom in my heart, "you are nothing but a tool to me." My heart sinks, my part parts open slightly, and my eyes go wide. I can't say anything. He means it... He really does mean it. I felt the breaking of my heart in my soul. When all I am dingo is staring straight ahead with a shocked expression he drags me towards the bed. I was holding his wrist with both hands but I was not resisting. I couldn't. My mind is so blank that the only words running around it are 'You are a tool". He throws me down onto the bed and straddles my hips. He starts to chuckle, it is so dark that it drives fear into my heart. I'm scared… I'm scared… Help me Aizen. I twinge when I realize that there was a shadow cast over his face. It made him look all the more intimidating. He can't help me. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you! I struggle to get out from under him but he grips my wrists and pins them to the bed. He leans down on my bony body with full weight. I thought I heard something snap but this thought is interrupted when I immediately stop wiggling and scream out in pain. He covered it up before it gets to loud to be heard elsewhere. He was now holding both of my tiny wrists in his left hand while the right covered my mouth. Tears of pain were streaming down my face. The pain was nearly unbearable. I have to fight off unconsciousness.

**Aizen's POV**

I thought that I had heard something crack but at this point I don't give a fuck. My anger is blazing so intense that I can't ignore. How dare she push me!? Me!? I should kill her on the spot! I slowly remove my hand from her mouth with a cold look. She starts to gasp for breath. Her eyes are averted but I can still see her struggling to stay awake. I thought I had heard something snap. I did break something. Probably the hip bone… This thought is interrupted by sudden struggling. I glare down at her. I slam her wrists back on the bed. I lean forward slightly, putting my weight on her hips. She cries out but not before I cover her mouth with a kiss. I don't know what came over me but I have to tease her. It made it all the more fun and it was satisfying his silent rage. When I pulled away sobs echo around the large room. I grip her chin firmly and force her to look at me. Fresh tears are streaming down her face now. With a slow and agonizing pace I lean forward. When I am hovering low enough above her body I flick my tongue out to taste her tears. Hey eyes go wide and she struggles. I laugh evilly into her ear. I am toying with her, I know and yet…. I can't stop myself. My anger was slowly fading and so to finish it off I whisper in her ear once more.

"You are nothing but a tool for my amusement, my use and my entertainment. I don't love you, you better remember that. I don't love you, I don't like you, I don't need you." With one last effort to sate my anger I slowly grind my hips into hers. Her pained screams fill my brain and echo around the room. After that she didn't fight anymore. She just laid there. I pull back and smile at my work. Her blue eyes were dim, her lips slightly parted, her body limp and her breathing was quiet and slow. Her breathing is so quiet that I can't hear it, her breathing so slow that I don't see her chest moving. I knew that I had cut her so deep that I have emotionally, physically and mentally wounded her all at the same fucking time. I push myself of the bed with grace. I fix my sirt and head towards the door. I open the door glance back once then step through. The door shuts behind me with a slam.

**Niari's POV **

After the door slams behind him I turn my head to stare at it. The only man I have ever loved just told me that I was nothing but a tool for his amusement and use. I felt like I was dead inside. I wasn't entirely sure what I was feeling until Orihime came into the room. She looked around nervously. When her eyes fell on me she reached her hand out as if though I would blow away at any moment. She runs over to me and grips the hand that I had reached out towards her.

"Niari." The tears in her eyes made me frown. I reached up and wiped them away.

"I'm okay. Just, don't cry. I hate to see you cry." I smile weakly at her but I meant what I said so my smile was genuine. She grips my hand and smiles down at me. She get serious and says,

"Okay. I need to move you up farther on the bed." I nod and push myself up. The pain, raced through my body and I started to fall forward. Orihime gripped my shoulders, then underneath my arms pits to help me stand. I stood up, leaning against her, and we walked to the right side of the bed. I frown slightly before looking at her.

"Why didn't you just roll me to my side?" She smiles slightly then goes back to looking serious.

"I need to see what area I had to focus on." I look up at her, now leaning against the backboard of the bed.

"You can focus your healing onto a certain area now?" I look up at her with Orihime comes around I forget that I am sad and lonely. I chuckle and decide that laughing isn't a good idea right now. Orihime lets her hands hover just above my hip and whispers, Sōten Kisshun. The familiar orange glow of her healing ability brings me peace. I lean back into the pillows and pat the spot next to me. She smiles at me checks her work once more before walking around the bed and leaning against the head board with me. I hold my hand out to her, palm up. She grabs a hold of my hand and squeezes. I smile gently with closed eyes. I open them and start at her facial expression. She was looking so sad. She reached out her right hand towards my chest. I cringe away from her touch and she pauses but after a second or two when I no longer move away she rests her fingertips over my heart. My heart was racing, though I honestly don't know why. In the back of my mind a little voice was telling me to be careful. I shoved that thought away. Orihime stared into my eyes with deep rooted love.

"Niari, you and Tatski have always been like sisters to me so I know when you are hurting on the inside." She looks at her hand above my heart and a single tear falls. "I can hear your heart breaking from the world of the living if I listen closely enough." I start at this. I stare at her with big doe eyes before averting my gaze. She sighs and takes her hand away but continues to hold my right hand with her left.

"If you need to talk I will always be there for you." She smiles a bright smile at me with the tear finally gone I turn to look at her. I open my mouth than close it again.

"Thank you, Orihime." I squeeze her hand tightly. As she just smiles at me the words start pouring out of my mouth. I started speaking softly as if though I didn't want anyone else to hear what I was going to say. Orihime turns to me with a twitch.

"I… I… Aizen… We…" I sigh. The words don't seem to want to come out after all. I frown slightly and Orihime just watches me with a small smile.

"Take your time Niari. No need to rush things." She smiles bigger and I sigh once more. I hang my head, let go of her hand, and set my hands in my lap. I stare at them with my hair falling in my face. I hear Orihime changing her place as well before trying again to speak.

"We got into a fight. It was my fault though…" Two tears trickle down my face and into my lap. I resist the urge to wipe them away. Orihime moves to sit in front of me, staying silent the whole time.

"I just, I don't know what came over me Orihime. I'm so lonely." I bow my head more resisting the tears. "I just wanted to know what I am to him… I could never hate him. I love him too much for that." I wipe away the tears with the back of my right hand. Orihime grabs my other hand in both of hers.

"If you talk about it, sometimes it makes more sense." She brushes the hair out of my face, putting it behind my ear. I shake my head, look up and smile at her.

"I just wanted to know if he felt anything for me. I know people depict us as a couple but, we aren't really." I smile softly and put the tips of my fingers to my lips. "No matter how much I want us to be." I speak so softly against the tips of my fingers that Orihime leans forward just enough to hear me. Still sitting silently she smiles. I move my fingertips away from my mouth with a small sigh.

"I know he is busy lately but I feel lonely. Even when were together I feel alone, as if something is always calling him away from me." I look to my left with a frown and more tears. "I feel as if at any moment he could just disappear. An image dances across my eyes of Aizen slowly turning to dust. I throw my right hand out to try and reach for his hand but it turns to dust before my eyes. I suddenly scream out his name.

"Aizen!" I snap back to reality and slowly let my arm fall. I put a hand over my face to hide my shame. Suddenly, Orihime pulls me into a hug. I can't hold back the tears any longer so I let them fall.

"Yeah, I know what you mean Niari. I've had that feeling too." She strokes my hair as her burnt orange hair catches my tears. I wrap my arms around her, gripping the back of her shirt. I feel as if though she could disappear at any moment too. I was sobbing and I couldn't stop the words from coming from my mouth.

"I love him so much Orihime. I'd even die for him, I'd be broken for him, and I'd be an empty shell of my former self if only he would love me back."I tremble and she grips my tighter against her. When the tears finally stop falling I am so tired that I can't keep my eyes open. I rub my eyes with a hand and sigh.

"Sorry, Inoue." I pull back from her and she is smiling at me.

"It's no problem, really." She smiles once more and that's when I notice him. I instantly avert my eyes then close them as I lean into the head-board. Inoue leans close and whispers into my ear.

"Don't worry, it will be okay." Inside I was struggling with whether he had heard everything. Suddenly, Inoue got up from the bed. I looked at her with big eyes. She leaned down, kissed my cheek and excused herself as Aizen stepped forward to take her place. Inoue bowed her head towards him a little before exiting though the door. I keep my eyes averted as I continued to struggle within myself with what to do and what to say. I found myself trying to figure out ways to escape without getting killed. I gasp as he sits in the spot that Orihime had just vacated. I put my pointer finger in my mouth and start to bite my nail. I was starting to get nervous when suddenly I remember Orihime's words. 'Don't worry, it'll be okay'. I close my eyes, mentally gain my confidence and look up at Aizen. I cross my arms and sit there silently with a straight face. He smiles softly, reaches out towards me and I cringe. He frowns slightly before rustling my hair. Despite my fears I feel my eyebrow start to twitch. I slap his hand away and hold a shaking fist up at him.

"I hate when you do that. I'm not some dog!" I suddenly realize what I said and fall silent again. He chuckles softly. He's so different from earlier. I bow my head in apology.

"I'm sorry, please forgive my sudden outburst." I close my eyes and give him a smile. When I open them he is staring at me with slightly wide eyes. I avert my eyes once more, letting my hair cover my face. I am flushed though I don't know why. I rest my fingertips over my 's racing again… Whenever he comes around my heart feels as if though it could pound out of my chest at any moment. I shake my head and continue to stare off. I start when he suddenly grabs my hand and holds it above his own heart. His heart is beast fast, faster than my own. I slightly dig my finger tips into his chest. I'm struggling with what to do, what to say. I don't know what to do! I took a shaky breath and let it out. His hand never removed mine from his chest. He held it there until I looked at him with sad eyes. He smiling softly but the tears are rolling down his face. He looks so sad that I can't resist but to reach out towards him. His eyes get big but then he let me take him into my arms while his tears are silently caught by my hair. He is holding on so tight that I find it hard to breathe. I run my fingers through his wavy brown hair while rocking him slightly. After a while he pulled back. His eyes are puffy, his lip swollen from trying to stop crying, his eyes are so clear. I was staring into his eyes before I reached out and wiped the last tear drop away. With a soft smile he took my fingers in his hand and pressed them against his hand. He cast his eyes down and opened his mouth to say something.

"I'm sorry." The words brought tears to my eyes instantly. I giggled with glee at this. He means it! He means it! He looks up at me with bug eyes and winces. I smile softly at him. I grip his hands in my own.

"Why are you looking like that? I am just so happy that you really meant what you just said." I blush slightly. "I'm sorry to have hurt your feelings." I stared him with parted lips. He shakes his head.

"No, I-" He stops to run a shaky hand through his hair. "I am sorry. Why wouldn't I mean it?" It's my turn to cringe. He instantly takes his hands from mine. "I-I'm sorry. No matter what I say, or how I try to tell you what I'm feeling in comes out wrong and ends up hurting you." He shakes his head viciously. "I don't want that. I would never want that so today when my anger finally burst and was aimed at you afterwards I was so ashamed. You made me realize that I don't know how to express my feelings for anyone. I… I'm just no good for you if I can't express myself without hurting you." His hands are now clenched into fists, gripping the sheets. I stroke his hair once more, chuckling softly.

"Aizen, look at me." He looks up from underneath his eye lashes. A soft smile is on my face. He blushes and looks away. I lightly laugh and turn his face back. "Why are you looking away?" He frowns and stares at me.

"I don't deserve to look at you." He closes his eyes. He snaps them open again when I press my lips against his. I pull away and he whines a little. I just smile at him before pulling him down into my lap. He stares up at me, his head resting in my lap, while I smile down at him. I slowly trace the line of his jaw with my fingertips before I rest them over his mouth.

"If I thought that, then I wouldn't be here loving you now would I?" I smile as a tear drops down onto his cheek. He gasps and sits up. He turns to me and pulls me into his embrace. We cling to each for a while before curling up into each other on the bed. With my head resting on his chest I listened to the fast beating of his heart. He was still holding onto me with a tight grip.

"I love you." I push myself up to look at him. I am so shocked that all I can do is stare at him. He stares off with flushed cheeks then looks me in the eyes. "I love you. I always have since the first day we met and I know that I always will. I promise to work on being a better man for your sake." I giggled with glee and throw myself onto him. He flushes red at this. I kiss his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, and his mouth. He stares off to his right, his face now so red he could match a tomato.

"Niari." He whines my name as I nip at his lips and ears. I can't help but giggle.

"Yes?" I kiss the nape of his neck before nipping it.

"Niari!" He whines again but doesn't stop me. I move to the open part of his shirt and plant a kiss on chest. Suddenly he flips us over so that he's on top. I stare up at him with big eyes. His eyes are closed and his breathing is slow and steady. When he opens his eyes I gasp. They are filled with love.

"Stop doing that before I have to make love to you." His voice was low, husky and tempting. He leans down next to my face and sighs. I nip his ear and he growls before taking m mouth captive with his own. That night ended with both of us finding each other and ourselves. I don't know how many times we made love but each time brought us closer together than the last. After we were done I was curled up against him with heavy eye lids. The last words I heard him say before I drifted off into sleep was,

"Do you know what you are to me? You're everything I need." He plants a kiss on the top of my head. His breathing ruffles my hair. "I love you Niari."

"I love you too." I fall asleep with a smile on my face that night.


End file.
